We Who Are About To Die’s new update has finally given me the excuse I need to cowardly lob some rocks at the heads of seasoned opponents

2 days ago 26
A fight between gladiators in We Who Are About To Die. Image credit: Jordy Lakiere

I am sure gladiator roguelike RPG We Who Are About To Die’s latest update is very nice, and its accompanying 30% celebratory discount even nicer. You can find the full patch notes here, and I’d be interested to hear how significant they are from the more fascina-pilled among you. They mean nothing to me, however, because We Who Are About To Die has been taunting me from my wishlist since it launched in early access a few years back. Well, no more. Throw me to the lions! Oh, this one has a Steam demo in its mouth. Great stuff.

The first thing that surprised me here was how action-y the combat is. Swordplay is a simplified version of the directional slashy-draggy you’d find in a Chivalry 2 or Kingdom Come Deliverance, and defense has you target your opponent’s weapon with your cursor for more effective blocks. It strikes a good balance between slapstick floppiness and tactical dueling, with a stamina bar keeping you from getting too gung-ho about it all. I immediately get the feeling I’m very bad at it.

I win my starting duel, then I'm thrown into a many-bastard melee in which I bravely hover around the edges, picking out hapless chumps that are already engaged with at least two of my allies so I can chop their legs off. The floppy physics really shines during limb lopping, where injured opponents will ragdoll to the floor in comic shrouds of gore. My favourite thing to do is to clumsily lob rocks at people, which you do by dropping your weapon at the end of an attack animation. About three quarters of the weapons I throw land uselessly at my feet, and I’m having the best time. Wait! This one hit! I’m doing it! I’m the best gladiator!

The actual management of it all, at least early on, is mainly about spending your winnings on better gear. You’ll also be trying to impress various patrons as you fight, which can affect things like payouts and story events between matches. You can also train, heal, and promote yourself for more fame bonuses to unlock better equipment. It’s all nice stuff to have, but the main draw here are the fights, which I’m looking forward to spending more time with, if only to awkwardly lob more rocks at the backs of heads. Here’s some headlines from those patch notes:

  • MAJOR new content & features
  • New: Character Traits
  • New: over 50 random Character Traits
  • Added in-run trait rewards (Gained by winning Elite Fights and Tournaments)
  • Added Character Trait Overview panel
  • Added a Character Trait Trophy system to track your completion progress
  • New: Player Weight System
  • New Weight and Armor UI panel
  • Added Player Weight system
  • Added Light Weight class
  • Added Heavy Weight class
  • New: Bonus Skills
  • Added the concept of Bonus Skills: these allow you to go over 100 with any skill (all the way to 125)
  • Added Base and Bonus skill overview panel
  • New: item Traits: several item traits that give various Bonus Skill modifiers
  • New: Features and Content
  • New feature: Timeline panel, shows upcoming rare events
  • Added new Map: The City Market
  • Added new Map: The City Slums
  • New feature: Ambushes (dialog event that sends you into combat defending against bandits)
  • Added many map areas and alleys for Ambush

Do let me know if you’ve spend much time with this one since early access launch, and how you’re getting on with it. I'd quite like to find out whether it's worth sticking with for the long haul, although I do feel it might lose a little of its charm as soon as I reach basic competency.

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