Folks, I think I've worked out how Bungie plans to make up its 45% revenue shortfall

Last year's shock layoff of around 100 staff at Bungie was accompanied by a report that the studio expected to miss its internal revenue projections by as much as 45%. You don't need access to the books to know that is both a substantial chunk of change, and that the subsequent delay to The Final Shape expansion will only have made matters worse. 

With parent company Sony also itchy on the trigger finger, I can only imagine that Bungie has been scrambling to plug that chasm ever since. Which brings us to today and, inevitably, the 'surprise' arrival of some of the best cosmetic items the game's microtransaction store has ever seen. 

Last week, I wrote with excitement unbecoming of a man in his late 40s that Destiny 2 was getting its first new form of player transport since launch: Hoverboards! And sure enough, with today's weekly reset, the Allstar Vector is now available to earn from the Guardian Games questline. However, as teased by Bungie, there's also a premium version you can buy immediately from the Eververse store, which is themed after Gjallarhorn, the game's iconic rocket launcher. 

That bundle—because it's only available as a bundle—also comes with a Gjallarhorn-inspired ship, ghost, and an ugly-ass shader that inexplicably doesn't even match the colourway of the other items. The Gjallarheart Gear bundle will set you back 2,500 silver, which is equivalent to $25. Whether that's worth it, only you can say. I can only admire the restraint of my colleague Phil Savage who has never spent a dime in the store, even as my very real money leaves my wallet in order to pay for more Bungie bucks. 

As for the hoverboard—sorry, 'skimmer'—I'm not going to pretend it looks anything other than incredibly cool, particularly used by Hunters whose capes flap in the wind as you whip around the lunar surface. The board does a little flip whenever you spawn it in, and there are also a handful of other tricks you can do whilst riding. Take a look at my preliminary testing below.

Now, at this point you're probably thinking, yes the skimmer looks sweet, but that's not going to fill Bungie's fiscal black hole. And you'd be right. Which is presumably why the studio has also added a full suit of Gjallarhorn gear for each class, priced at 1,500 Silver per character, which is roughly $15 a pop. Once again, I regret to inform you that these are really nice, leaning into the whole space-meets-mediaeval vibe that has consistently separated me from my disposable income. 

Oh, and finally, there's also a new Gjallahorn-themed ornament for, uh, the Thunderlord exotic machine gun. Quite why they didn't design a new ornament for Gjallahorn itself is anybody's guess. It costs 700 Silver, which is pretty annoying given that you can only buy in increments of 500. Roughly seven bucks, anyway.

I've put the items in a gallery below but implore you to show more self-control than me. Whether or not leaning into microtransactions at a time when community sentiment is best described as 'down bad' is another matter. But one thing you can say for sure is that the Destiny 2 art team has still very much got it.