Universal’s new Shrek theme park sounds like a millennial playground

Universal says its new resort is for kids, but that Shrek swamp begs to differ

While Universal Studios theme parks like the recently opened Epic Universe are filled with experiences for people of all ages, the company’s next venture, Universal Kids Resort, is pitched specifically for families with young children. But let’s be honest: Who will really show up to Shrek Land?

Opening in Frisco, Texas next year, Universal Kids Resort will feature a number of notable characters from DreamWorks movies like Shrek and Trolls, along with a very popular Nickelodeon fixture and Jurassic World, all getting their own themed areas.

Brian Robinson, Universal Creative executive vice president and CCO, says the company “envisioned this park through the unbridled creativity of kids, where infinite imagination, curiosity, and free-spirited play were core to our design philosophies.”

Sure, but you know the millennials are going to eat this up.

Granted, kids probably love the 24-year-old animated film Shrek. But the popularity among children doesn’t drive streetwear brand Supreme to release its own Shrek-themed shirt or spawn Shrek raves. The generation that grew up with those movies has the kind of spending money that comes with adulthood now.

Universal might expect that it will be primarily children partaking in activities like Shrek’s Swamp Splash & Smash, an oversized splash pad decked out to look like a swamp, but just you wait until a 35-year-old that’s had a few too many Jaws-themed cocktails finds their way there, finally able to commune with their best ogre friend. (No, Jaws-themed cocktails haven’t been announced, but I’m sure they’ll come in medium, large, and “bigger boat.”)

I simply have a hard time believing that adults won’t want to partake in most of the attractions at Universal Kids Resort, especially after a quick look at what other properties are featured.

Beyond Shrek, there will be themed areas for Puss in Boots, SpongeBob SquarePants, Jurassic World, Trolls, and Illumination's Minions. These are all long-running franchises, yes, but very few of the Gentleminions were, uh, children.

In a world of boring hotels, though, why wouldn’t a millennial rather visit a place filled with the characters and settings they grew up adoring? Naturally, they’d love to spend whatever money is left over after they pay student loans to go hang out with Shrek, Stuart the Minion, SpongeBob, and — I’m just guessing — Owen Grady, the definitely memorable Chris Pratt character from three different Jurassic World movies?

There is something there just for the young ones, though. When you first exit the hotel into the resort area, you’ll find yourself on the Isle of Curiosity, home of a dance party with Gabby from the Netflix animated series Gabby’s Dollhouse.

Outside of that, though, there’s so much crossover appeal to the properties being used to fill the resort that it feels calculated. Universal wants me and my millennial friends to take a vacation there, ride the white water rapids attraction in the Minions area a bunch of times, and never want to leave.

And so far, I’m convinced. The announcements and concept art give similar vibes to a Disney cruise. On the surface, they look exclusively like the sort of place parents would take their kids to. Ultimately, there’s still something for everyone.

I will be interested to see what non-child-facing experiences are announced in the coming months. Even Disney cruises have speakeasies, park-themed bars and lounges, and even a pirate-themed barbershop aimed squarely at adults who want to drink an Old Fashioned while getting a trim.

So far, though, Universal is clearly playing to an audience it knows well. Universal Orlando Resort has added lands pinned to both DreamWorks and the Minions franchise in recent years to much success. Universal Kids Resort is the next step. The millennial invasion will descend upon Texas. We’re coming, and we’re cosplaying as Minions.