The demo for Building Relationships made me horny for a windmill, and you could be next with Steam Next Fest

I could never date a building... unless?

Objectophilia. That's the closest word I could find that might potentially represent the feeling of being attracted to a building, though it's more just attraction to general inanimate objects. After playing Building Relationships, though, I think they're going to have to invent a new word thanks to all the people this is going to awaken something in. Yes, there is now a game where you can be horny for literal buildings, and you know what? The Steam Next Fest demo for it is pretty good.

I think right around now is where I should offer some context: Building Relationships is a very silly game where you are a house, and you've arrived on an island for the express purpose of, well, building relationships, both literally and figuratively. When I say you're a house, I mean it - you're not a house with eyes, arms, and legs, you are quite simply a building, and to get around you just have to roll around the place.

There are all sorts of other buildings you meet too, like a windmill called Millie, or a tent called Tenet (immediately raising questions as to what constitutes a building - I'm sure the discourse here will rage on for 1000 years with no victor). And some of these buildings are straight up desperate to get into your basement - I have never seen so much sexual tension between two buildings before, despite the complete and utter lack of any emotions present on the building's facades because again, they do not have faces.

This is all presented incredibly tongue in cheek, of course, with puns to be found around every single corner of the demo's small area. There were multiple occasions where I had to be careful I didn't snort too hard for fear of popping a blood vessel or something, and even if a lot of it was silly at the wrong moment you probably would have caught me blushing.

It's clear gameplay is meant to be funny too. Like I said, you literally roll around the place, somewhat reminding me of Katamari Damacy, at least in terms of that light janky quality, just minus the whole building up a big ball of stuff thing. But also, it has a genuinely interesting movement system.

Lead dev Tanat Boozayaangool described it as "A Short Hike, but stupid" and that feels incredibly apt. You can talk to different Chesters, who are different chests in a complicated polycule (yes, really), can give you bonus jumps, and even wave dashes, meaning you can bounce your little house all around the island at breakneck speed - it's a game I hope speedrunners get a hold of, just to see how whacky things can get.

There's also a simple dating minigame to be found where you build furniture to give to potential Bachelorx Pads, who then, uh, eat it. I'm going to assume furniture in this universe isn't sentient, because if I don't make that assumption, I might have a crisis. The minigame really is quite simple, clearly riffing on Ikea furniture, but I can see how certain types of furniture might make things more complicated down the line. Fishing minigame lovers will also be happy to hear, pulling from Stardew Valley, but allowing for a bit more movement for an added bit of challenge.

It won't take you particularly long to finish the demo, but it's just filled with so much goofy charm that despite some of its simpler elements, I couldn't help being won over by it. Platformers are often at their best when they lean into the ridiculousness of their worlds, and Building Relationships certainly does that. Now all I need to do is assess my feelings about houses, which I'm sure will be an easy fix in therapy.