Review: The Patrick Star Game (Xbox) - SpongeBob's Best Character Deserved Better

Are ya ready, kids? To be honest, probably not. Following on from last year's The Cosmic Shake, the SpongeBob IP is back again for another Xbox outing - this time starring everyone's favourite cartoon starfish, Patrick Star. However, this SpongeBob spin-off really does feel like cutting room floor leftovers after the last two series entries, and The Patrick Star Game doesn't do its main character any justice.

Actually, no, we'll start with a positive or two here. Bikini Bottom itself — the underwater town where SpongeBob SquarePants is set — does actually look pretty good. The series' distinct style is definitely intact here, from the instantly recognisable homes of its three main stars, to the deep sea backdrop and its broader inhabitants. Sure, The Patrick Star Game probably isn't going to win any best graphics awards, but it looks exactly like you'd imagine a SpongeBob game to look. The main characters fare pretty well too, at least compared to their modern versions on the show itself.

The unfortunate thing is, beyond the game's lovely underwater backdrop, there really isn't a lot to accomplish in The Patrick Star Game. Rather than follow a more traditional 3D platformer blueprint, this starfish-shaped spin-off just sort of, plonks you in the world and tells you to have at it. As soon as you load in, the game says that there's no specific order to completing 'quests', and that you can go about your new Bikini Bottom life as you wish. As it turns out, that life is pretty darn monotonous.

In fact, the easiest way we can probably describe this title is side activities: the game. There's no main campaign or anything here, you merely explore different Bikini Bottom districts, completing basic tasks for your fellow residents. To top it off, these tasks (or very similar re-skinned versions of them) are actually repeated in different districts as well. Successfully cleared the ground of mess so that Squidward can sunbathe in his back yard? Cool, go do that same thing again in downtown Bikini Bottom. Then, there's the driving quests, which all feel like re-skinned versions of the same basic objective.

You've got some 'collectathon' elements tucked in here too of course, like grabbing mayo jars to cure Patrick's insatiable appetite for cold eggy gloop, which is something else to do at least. But even then, some of the 'main quests' also devolve into just collecting things for certain characters, so yeah, it's all a bit samey whatever you're getting up to in The Patrick Star Game.

We did have fun with one mechanic though, and that can be found by heading to either the Krusty Krab or the Chum Bucket. Here, Mr. Krabs or Plankton (depending on which establishment you visit) dish out some cooking-related objectives for you to complete, and these areas play out like a simplistic version of Overcooked - or something of that ilk. You'll be building different spec burgers to a time limit as customers swing by and place their orders, and we found this entertaining for a while, if again, a little repetitive.

If you haven't got this gist of things yet, The Patrick Star Game is absolutely a game for young kids, and we totally get that approach. You don't want to overcomplicate things if that's your target audience, and we appreciate the effort that's been put in just to recreate an authentic SpongeBob flavoured world here. But, you really have seen everything this game has to offer in about an hour of gameplay, and we don't know about SpongeBob fanatics specifically, but children tend to need longer bouts of distraction than that. You can collect cool outfits for Patrick, but beyond that, there's not a whole lot to go at here.

Conclusion

SpongeBob SquarePants: The Patrick Star Game feels like another excuse to cash in on the SpongeBob name. The game doesn't do anything offensive, but it's so barebones that it doesn't even really feel like a complete experience, particularly for seasoned gamers. If you absolutely have to try anything with the animated sponge's name on it, then frolicking around in Jellyfish Fields for a few hours or so could be fun - but otherwise, don't bother. It's probably worth just booting up Battle for Bikini Bottom Rehydrated again if you're in the mood for some SpongeBob gaming in your life!